I look at my self in a mirror
“i don’t want to be like this anymore”
I spend most of my day in my house
Uncomfortable to be alive in this body
I do have things that comfort me
but nothing that truly fills me like it used to when I was a child
I like to sometimes walk to the gas station by my house to maybe buy some snacks or whatever, but it is mostly just to get myself out of the house
I go at night because there are no people
except for the gas station elderly clerk who is usually asleep at his post or has his nose in a news paper
So I can slip in and out of the store completely unnoticed
the night air is usually cool the wind is weak but ever present
I went to the doctor the other day, she prescribed me some medication to help with my anxiety. The meds are an off white color, in the shape of bars and bigger than I wanted with the name of the medication printed into one side of them. today is my first day taking them.
It has been four days
I feel calm but spaced out
why do I inhabit this body and not another
is my consciousness flawed or is my body flawed
does the state of my body have an an effect on my mind?
on my soul?
it has been seven days
my skin has started to itch
I am calmer and feel as though I could be more sociable
but this rash won’t go away
I feel as though people are out to get me
I am seeing thing in the shadows
hearing sound that turn out to not exist
my mind wanders
it has been two weeks
The circus was in town so I decided to go
this is the first time since I was a child that I was able to go be around so many people
the rash has began to scab and my skin looks brownish
I just covered up but none of my clothes seemed to fit
so I was forced to wear sweatpants and a very large t-shirt
and this made me self conscious
my legs were weak
the circus lights calmed me
but everyone was staring at me
is this normal?
adults were pulling their children away from me
and the average passerby gawked at me like I was sight to behold
did they know that this was my first time around so many people for years ?
how could they?
the anxiety started to creep up on me again
"should I go back home?”
my face began to feel flush
that is when I saw the swings
with bright colors and flashing light and no line to speak off
I shuffled my way over to them and waited my turn
the carnie never made eye contact and looked as though he was sweating
once the swing came to a full stop
the carnie opened to the door and I rushed in, sat down and striped myself in
I was alone
this time it was a good feeling
the swing lurched forward
I was as excited as a child
it went around a few time until the swings reached maximum height and terminal velocity
it was then that I saw my self in the mirrors of the center console on the swings
the grotesque monster i had become
the dark brown wood grain skin
the massive black doll’s eye
and the antenna that stick out of my forehead
I had became a beast that no person could ever love
that was okay
because I was comfortable in my own skin
We're happy to welcome Prancer, who joins our label with his debut EP 'Metamorphosis.' His unique style of music builds bridges between different genres, and draws inspiration from all kinds of media, such as Japanese and Western TV shows, German literature and video games The artist also play various instruments on different tracks, which makes the EP a quite unique piece in the sphere of Vaporwave. It's difficult to describe Prancer's music accurately, as it is very gentle, yet picturesque, while always showing us a kind of reality with a very dystopian touch.
'Metamorphosis' doesn't just take us on a journey, but puts us right inside the mind of an individual, suffering from anxiety and certain disorders. We live through the different states of the disorders, including the feeling of sickness and pain, withdrawal from society, medication and the step of becoming a newly born person.
All of the album's tracks lead us along the story's path in a very careful and subtle manner, without ever forgetting to make us see all those vivid pictures that the narrative of this album holds in its hands.
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